It can often seem like there’s too much work to do; too many tasks, and too little time. And the tasks can often seem so complex that it’s difficult to even get started, let alone make decisions about which tasks are more important than others.
But if there’s one thing I learned during my tenure in academic philosophy, it’s that it’s always helpful to try to reduce things to their most basic categories. So as I struggled with trying to prioritize and organize my projects and tasks, I found that much of the work I had on my lists fell into 9 categories. These categories are squares on a 3 x 3 matrix.
It’s a matrix of 3 nouns and 3 verbs, and the 9 combinations of them. The nouns are the relations between either us and someone else, or us and ourselves. The verbs are what we do about those relations. We’re doing something regarding a commitment, an expectation, or a desire. that something can be either meeting, managing, or monitoring.
You can prioritize by starting at the top left of the matrix, and moving left to right in 3 tiers, in order of decreasing importance.
Tier 1: Meet the commitments you can. Manage the ones you don’t think you can, and monitor things to make sure you’re not casually committing to things (which happens).
Tier 2: Manage people’s expectations (including your own), so you can meet the ones that will help your relationships. Monitor what kinds of expectations are out there. They pop up randomly — even within your own mind. Make sure expectations that pop up, but are unreasonable, get addressed (managing).
Tier 3: Monitor desires, and when you see really strong ones that are affecting the relationship, manage them. If you can, and it will really put the icing on the cake of the relationship, meet some of the desires. But don’t put yourself in a position to try to meet every single desires people have of you (again, including yourself). That’s a fast track to burnout.
Mind the Verbs and Nouns
As you decide what’s important, keep the 3 kinds of verbs and nouns in mind. And as you name your tasks, be mindful of what type of work each one is. Verb + Noun. Each verb is a slightly different kind of task.
Are you working to meet a commitment, expectation or desire? That usually looks like you physically doing work for someone.
Are you managing one of those 3 things? That’s usually a conversation between you and the other party or you working on re-ordering tasks or planning.
Are you monitoring one of those 3 things? That usually looks like a check-in (email or conversation), or a bit of catch-up reading. But it shouldn’t be as pressing as the other two kinds of work. Thought it does need to be done regularly.
Keep Things From Escalating
Commitments are the most weighty of the 3 nouns. The more you can minimize your commitments–including the ones you make to yourself–the better. Minimizing commitments requires keeping the other 2 nouns (desires and expectations) from escalating.
Desires left unchecked can turn into expectations. Expectations left unchecked can make you feel like you need to commit to meeting them. And that can lead to a commitment–one you might end up regretting later. Keeping things from escalating is work in and of itself. It is the monitoring and management.
That’s it: 3 nouns, 3 verbs. Of all the costumes your work can wear, underneath them, you’ll find some combination of those nouns and verbs lurking.
